We hanged Nirbhaya’s rapists but the source of rape, hangs around us.
First hand reflections from the morgue of the hospital where Nirbhaya finally passed
It was around 5 am on Dec 29th, 2012. We were Singapore based then. I woke up with a distinct uneasy feeling — she was no more. With groggy eyes, I googled. It was true. She had passed away around 2 am.
By 6 am, my wife and I were at Mt. Elizabeth hospital and from there we went to the Singapore General Hospital morgue where she had been shifted. Navigating through corridors, we reached the spot.
Inside in the room, lay her body, or whatever remained of it, after multiple unsuccessful operations to sew her shredded, infected inners together. A couple of groggy eyed staff from the Indian embassy were sitting on the hospital benches. They asked us who we were, whether we were related? We were wearing Indian white clothes, worn in mourning. We said we weren’t related.
So what were we doing there, he asked. I remember saying to him, “I don’t exactly know what we are doing here, but I know that we had to be doing something. And it wasn’t at home. We just came to pay respects, just as one would for a family member”.
We sat for sometime, then went to a temple to pray for her and left. I remember the ride back home was silent. My wife isn’t ‘activist’ type. But she came voluntarily. Something had moved in us that day. In a lot many of us around the country and around the world. The tragedy united us.
Reflecting on the 7 years since
I personally am not sure how I feel about the 4 hanging bodies in Tihar. Exacting revenge on them can neither be our goal, not can enough revenge ever be taken. Their crime was just too heinous to be appropriately punished.
In saying this, I am not being anti-death penalty. Or for it. I simply hope it works as a deterrence for others. Most importantly, I hope that that humanity and sensitivity remains alive within us that got evoked by this gruesome tragedy.
In the days since December 2012, innumerable rapes have continued to happen. The establishment including elected leaders and police have continued to blame the victim. She must have invited it on herself. She must be of loose character, they say. She must have enjoyed it, then blackmailed. Many ‘educated’ people have subscribed to this, especially, if the perpetrator happens to be from a political party that they like, and if the victim happens to be from a religion they don’t like. They have even taken out rallies to support it. And garlanded perpetrators.
Trolls have continued to publicly threaten gang-rape to any and everyone, including Kargil martyr’s daughters. People occupying highest public offices have continued to be social media associates of such ‘proud nationalist rapists’.
If it happens to a dalit or a tribal, hardly an eyelid bats. If done by the army, merely even talking about it makes a criminal out of you!
We hung Nirbhaya’s rapists. When will we hang those that have filled our minds with so much poison and apathy that they have made virtual rapist supporters out of decent, educated ‘sanskaari’ Indians?
When will we hang the demons inside of us that we have continued to feed, such that real rape videos has become a burgeoning industry in our tier 2 and tier 3 towns, with each real life rape video selling for Rs 50 to Rs 150, depending on ‘exclusivity’? When will we stop patronizing movies that glorify misogyny on-screen?
When will we refuse to accept ‘superstars’ that publicly ill-treat women in their life? Are we truly against rape, murder and violence, or only when we imagine ourselves to be potentially at the receiving end of it?
Given how we continue to vote for murderers and rapists, an interesting blog argued that we better get honest about it, and make a public declaration, perhaps even captured in our Aadhaar database — of where we truly stand. It would be called a ‘Dont Mind Rapists Murders’ check box #DMRM. Read here.
As we hang Nirbhaya’s rapists, she probably looks down from the sky, worried about all the source of rape that is hanging around all of us.
